RELATIONSHIP

Today we will be talking about relationship...

Relationship is one thing and a gift you already had since form your child birth, be it a casual relationship or intimate, the thing there is, either ways you are having a relationship. In a relationship, you should never expect anything to come out of it, try and always be your self, because if you give room for expectations, then it’s just like an excuse for you to get hurt. Always try to do your best and when you keep trying, sometimes you just feel your best is not just enough. In a relationship, you fine out that there are happy times and there are sad time. During those happy times, you feel like you are on top of the world and when you are sad you wish you have never started it anyway. But I tell you, there is a less time for regrets instead you should stand up and fix it. You try to think of ways to make it work but it keep failing you and then you don’t know what to do. And you start feeling insecure but you know, the simplest way to protect yourself from a scam is by reducing your exposure to wild thinking and all. When one person stands in a special relationship of trust, confidence or responsibility to another, it fiduciary relationship exists when a person claims to act in the best interests of, or in behalf of, another, and the other accepts that trust. A relationship of trust and confidence; as between you and the other party. A relationship of trust and confidence between two people in which one person holds much more power, knowledge or skill than the other and is, therefore. A relationship in which one party (the fiduciary) must act in good faith and with due regard to the best interests of the other party or parties. 

In other to maintain your relationship with the other party, one thing you must learn how to do is to stay in touch. This is the first and most important thing you must do in order to maintain your friendships. When you were leaving close to each other, staying in touch was easy because you saw each other every day. Now that you are out of the country or somewhere far from each other this will no longer happen and keeping up with your friends will require work. You will have to make phone calls, send emails, IM, text and in some cases snail mail your friends in order to stay in touch. Now you may be thinking “big deal, I call all my friends every day anyway”, Since you are no longer close to each other, some friends find that they have little to talk about on a daily basis. Think about it, if you’re at state not a working class and your friend has a full time job the two of you are no longer interacting with the same people, you are no longer having the same day to day experiences, and as a result you won’t have the same depth of conversations about your lives. Your conversations will start to seem more like newsy updates than heart-to-hearts and this can take a toll on some friendships. Frankly, the more superficial types of friendships rarely survive this change in pace. So the first thing you need to realize is that you will need to work to stay in touch and that some of the friendships you think are deep will show themselves to be routed in shared experiences rather than a real bond. As the demands on your time increase and you make new friends in your new life you will have to make an important and somewhat difficult choice… which leads us to another step, cleaning house. And another thing you will need to consider is to Prioritize your friendships. This may seem cold but it is very necessary. When you leave far from each other, you will start looking back; thinking about the things that are going to change, and you are not going to see each other any more, you will no longer talk the way you use to, the events that will no longer be on the calendar. It is a time of mourning and you don’t usually stop to think about the positive changes ahead. When you move beyond the your front door you can count on a few very exciting changes in your social world, you will form new kinds of relationships with others. You will make new friends and some of these friendships will be deeper and more fulfilling than you can even begin to imagine. You will fall in love in a whole new kind of way. You will find that age will no longer define who is “above” you and who is “below” you. Your boss may be younger than you, your teacher may be closer to your age than to your parents’, your best friend may end up being a decade older than you and you may fall for somebody much, much younger. The rules of social interaction will change and the basic building blocks of your relationships will drastically change with them. As this starts to happen, and it is inevitable, your old peeps ties will unravel. Some of your old friends will be stuck in a rut that you may no longer be able to identify with, some may be engulfed by their own new lives with little time left over for the old, and others may be so separated by geography that the emotional distance between you grows to match. At this point you will want to make room for the new people in your life and this will require you to rearrange the old. You will likely find that some friendships will completely disappear, others will evolve into acquaintances, and some will become even closer and more important than they were in high school. Take inventory and decide which friendships are most worthy of your time and effort and act accordingly. Changing the faces of your friendships is a normal part of growing up and even though it can be heartbreaking it is something that everybody endures and survives. This brings us to the final step in maintaining the friendships that matter the most… meshing your worlds; and at some point you will want to blend the old with the new. When you move out in to the world and form new bonds with new people it can feel like loving in two bizarre parallel universes, each starring you on the same stage but neither one fitting with the other. Your old friendships have a history to them, a wealth of shared experiences that have bonded you together. Your new friendships are built on the excitement of entering a new phase of life and shine with all the hope and promise of your future dreams. Is it possible to take relationships that are based on such different premises and make them work as one? The answer is yes. Once you have decided on your primary friendships from both your old and new worlds, that is the friendships you are willing to put the most time and effort in to building and maintaining, the next big step is bringing these people together. You will have to play the bridge as you are likely to be the only thing your old and new friends have in common at first. This can be an awkward and uncomfortable place to be but if you are going to bring your friendships together it is a role you must play. If you are lucky enough for your old friends and your new friends to hit it off right away than count your blessings and enjoy an easy mesh, but if your not so lucky and instead of an instant bond between your friends you find yourself facing instant tension don’t panic. Your old friendships and your new friendships don’t have to blend in order to work in your life. If you find yourself dealing with a serious incompatibility crisis resign yourself to living in separate but equal friendship spheres and adjust accordingly. In order for this to work there are three very important rules to live by:

1) Never ditch one group for the other, except in very extreme circumstances – think weddings, birthdays, sickness and funerals – and always stick with the plans you make first,

2) always be honest, don’t lie about who you are with or what you are doing and never act as if being with one group of friends is a burden (even if at times it feels like one), and finally

3) Never give up trying to bring the two spheres together, don’t alienate one set of friends for the other on days that pertain to you, on any occasion your friends should put aside their differences and be there for you – never compromise in this.

Sometimes depending on the kind of people you are dealing with, it does not work and when it happens that way never think of you self as a bad person the truth of the matter  is that you have tried your best and it’s not just working out for you and them. Instead of feeling bad just try and say to your self they were never meant for each other but if they are, it’s just a matter of time and you’ll see things working out just the way you wanted it to be…