Shyness means to feel a little scared when you're around other people. Just about everybody feels shy sometimes. If you're the new kid in class or your Aunt Betty wants to give you a big hug, it can make you feel shy.
Nobody sits around and says, "Well, I think I'll be shy today." It is just something that happens. It can just sneak up on you. You might feel fine practicing your soccer kicks, but then feel nervous when the coach comes over to give you a few pointers.
But being shy isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's OK if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situations. In fact, it can even be helpful to be a little shy. When you're shy, you may spend a little extra time observing the scene before jumping right into it. And you're unlikely to talk to strangers, which you shouldn't do anyway!
What Causes Shyness?
Some people are just born shy and more sensitive. Sometimes even babies act shy. Have you ever seen a baby hide his or her face from a stranger? On the other hand, another baby might kick, smile, and wave at everyone, even strangers.
Even if you weren't shy when you were a kid, it's still possible to be a shy person. You might have learned to be shy because of experiences you've had at somewhere or home. And sometimes you only feel shy for a short while, like the first time you get on a new environment and meet new people. This type of shyness often goes away after you get adjusted. For instance, after a few days, you'll probably have a seat you like to sit in and you'll get to know friends in your hood.
If your shyness is keeping you from doing stuff you want to do, talk to someone about it. Parents, friends, or someone you feel close to, these are all good people to turn to. Talking about your shyness might help you get over it. Or your friends or parents may tell you that they, too, have the same shy feelings and what they do to feel less shy.
How to Overcome Shyness
Do you want to overcome shyness?Many people before
you have used tips and good advice to overcome shyness
- so can you!
Many people want to overcome shyness and need a few
tips to get them started. Once you learn an approach that
works you will be ready to overcome shyness and enjoy
a fuller life.
Shyness is the term given to feelings of anxiety or
discomfort in social settings, and to the inability of a
person to engage or interact fully with others. Shyness
comes in various degrees and with different symptoms.
Still, with the right attitude and tools you can overcome
shyness.
If you have vowed to overcome shyness here are three
important tips to encourage your success!
you have used tips and good advice to overcome shyness
- so can you!
Many people want to overcome shyness and need a few
tips to get them started. Once you learn an approach that
works you will be ready to overcome shyness and enjoy
a fuller life.
Shyness is the term given to feelings of anxiety or
discomfort in social settings, and to the inability of a
person to engage or interact fully with others. Shyness
comes in various degrees and with different symptoms.
Still, with the right attitude and tools you can overcome
shyness.
If you have vowed to overcome shyness here are three
important tips to encourage your success!
1. Be your own best friend.
Mental Health professionals tell us that any behavioral
change requires support. Because the nature of a shy person
is not to seek out or elicit attention from others, they
often feel they have to fight their battle alone. However this
is not the besy way to overcome shyness.
In the absence of a caring support group, you can nurture
yourself with positive affirmations repeated daily. Be
honest with yourself about all of the good qualities you
have. A familiar adage says "you cannot love another until
you love yourself". Even simple ideas like this can help you
to overcome shyness.
Positive interactions with others are more natural if you
know how to have a positive interaction with yourself first.
#2. Leave comparisons behind.
A shy person tends never to be very conceited. On the other
hand, a shy person also does not always have a firm grasp
on self-esteem. If you really want to overcome shyness you
need to build greater self-esteem
Excuses for not talking such as "I didn't have anything
important to say" or "Other people knew more than me and I
did not want to seem silly" are self-defeating.
When you look at other people, you see only the good side
they allow everyone to see. People do not tend to wear
their hurt or worry on their sleeves, but that does not
mean they do not exist. Even seeminglt confident people
have to overcome shyness to get ahead.
As you are working to overcome shyness, try to remember
that everyone is human. The life of the party is no more or
less a person than the quietest guest. This even playing
field affords respect for all comments and participants -
even your own.
#3. Practice makes better.
There is no cure for shyness. At one point in your life,
shyness may have benefited you because of circumstances you
were dealing with at the time.
However, as you have made the decision to break free and
overcome shyness, it is important to look for little ways to
practice being your more outgoing self. Talk with friends
about new topics.
Introduce your own topic. You can begin to test your
comfort zone with people you trust, talking to people you
are less acquainted with as your confidence grows. Little by
little you will overcome shyness in this way.
Sharing small bits of information about yourself at a time
allows others to learn more about you, and reinforces that
others can and will be interested in you.
As you talk with new people, you will learn new things
about yourself that can only make thinking of things to say
easier in the future.
As with any resolution, to overcome shyness will take a lot
of time and dedication. There may be times when you feel
more vulnerable than you would prefer, but these moments
might offer you a chance to bond with another facing a
similar challenge.
A positive attitude and patience with yourself will make
all the difference and help you to overcome shyness as you
emerge from your shell and into the company of people who
are excited to get to know you.
Mental Health professionals tell us that any behavioral
change requires support. Because the nature of a shy person
is not to seek out or elicit attention from others, they
often feel they have to fight their battle alone. However this
is not the besy way to overcome shyness.
In the absence of a caring support group, you can nurture
yourself with positive affirmations repeated daily. Be
honest with yourself about all of the good qualities you
have. A familiar adage says "you cannot love another until
you love yourself". Even simple ideas like this can help you
to overcome shyness.
Positive interactions with others are more natural if you
know how to have a positive interaction with yourself first.
#2. Leave comparisons behind.
A shy person tends never to be very conceited. On the other
hand, a shy person also does not always have a firm grasp
on self-esteem. If you really want to overcome shyness you
need to build greater self-esteem
Excuses for not talking such as "I didn't have anything
important to say" or "Other people knew more than me and I
did not want to seem silly" are self-defeating.
When you look at other people, you see only the good side
they allow everyone to see. People do not tend to wear
their hurt or worry on their sleeves, but that does not
mean they do not exist. Even seeminglt confident people
have to overcome shyness to get ahead.
As you are working to overcome shyness, try to remember
that everyone is human. The life of the party is no more or
less a person than the quietest guest. This even playing
field affords respect for all comments and participants -
even your own.
#3. Practice makes better.
There is no cure for shyness. At one point in your life,
shyness may have benefited you because of circumstances you
were dealing with at the time.
However, as you have made the decision to break free and
overcome shyness, it is important to look for little ways to
practice being your more outgoing self. Talk with friends
about new topics.
Introduce your own topic. You can begin to test your
comfort zone with people you trust, talking to people you
are less acquainted with as your confidence grows. Little by
little you will overcome shyness in this way.
Sharing small bits of information about yourself at a time
allows others to learn more about you, and reinforces that
others can and will be interested in you.
As you talk with new people, you will learn new things
about yourself that can only make thinking of things to say
easier in the future.
As with any resolution, to overcome shyness will take a lot
of time and dedication. There may be times when you feel
more vulnerable than you would prefer, but these moments
might offer you a chance to bond with another facing a
similar challenge.
A positive attitude and patience with yourself will make
all the difference and help you to overcome shyness as you
emerge from your shell and into the company of people who
are excited to get to know you.
Tips to Overcoming Shyness and Making a Good Impression
Many of us wish we were one of those people who walked into a room and had friends-to-be flock to them. Anyone would agree that those of us who make friends easily and are innately likable will probably have an easier and more pleasant time of things than those who are incredibly shy or find it very hard to make friends.Little do many of us know that making a positive impression is far easier than we might think. But before I get started with that, let me let you in on a little secret:
Everyone is just as shy as you are.
Everyone… in the whole world. Some have learnt to hide it a little bit better or simply ignore it, but every one of us has the same fears and self-doubts.
I’ll qualify this by saying that I am regularly told that I am good with people and that I appear very confident in social situations. I don’t say this to brag, but because if you asked me I would tell you that I am very shy and insecure and overcome it by pure force of will.
This insight led me to ask some of the people I consider to be confident and very socially skilled. The uniform answer: I’m shy but I work at it.
It is incredibly liberating to realize that no matter how you shy you might be, the person you’re nervous to introduce yourself to is just as shy as you are. In fact, they’d be relieved if you took the first step. With this in mind, here are eight essential tips to overcoming shyness and making a good impression:
1) Introduce Yourself. This sounds so basic, but many people seem afraid to do it! Say you’re standing next to someone at a party, or you’ve run into someone with a friend and they’ve forgotten to introduce you. Our little shy alter-ego tells us at this point that no one wants to know our name and we should just keep quiet. I can guarantee that a big smile and a simple “my name’s blank, what’s yours” will be all you’ll need to get the ball rolling. Do it straight away because the longer you wait the harder it will be.
2) Don’t Feel the Need to Qualify Yourself. We’ve all been in a situation where a new acquaintance has gone to great pains to express just how great they are. Whether it’s how fantastic their job is, how much money they have or how hot their girlfriend is, it never leaves a good impression. However, when we’re in a stressful social situation ourselves, suddenly the temptation to prove that we’re socially worthy rears it’s ugly head. A humble but accurate description when asked is all that is needed, and if you make people feel good about themselves that’s the best social qualifier of all.
3) Ask More, Talk Less. People love to talk about themselves. It is the most interesting topic in the world. You know the best way to get people to enjoy your company? Ask the questions that let them talk about their lives. And then listen with interest. Simple as that. And if you’re worrying that you won’t have anything to ask, I heard a very socially savvy friend ask an acquaintance what fillings he liked most in his sandwiches. He was enamored with her. Trust me, you’ll think of something!
4) Be Generous. I’m not talking about buying drinks or a meal, but rather being generous in your opinion. It is all too easy to judge someone who says the wrong thing or acts a little differently from what we expect. However we have all had days when we make a terrible first impression by making an off joke or just saying the wrong thing because of nerves or a simple slip of the tongue. If you reserve judgement and spend time making that person comfortable you will not only spread some good karma around but will earn their eternal gratitude.
5) Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover. I know a model. She’s absolutely stunning, yet appallingly shy. If a less attractive woman were to act as she does, she would be sympathized with, understood and efforts would be made to put her at her ease. My model friend is labeled stuck up and rude. Do not assume that if someone is cold it is because they think they are better than you or don’t have time for you. That may happen in high school, but thankfully that type of behaviour is rare in the real world. If someone is cold it is most likely because they are very shy and insecure. Remember that and don’t be shaken if someone doesn’t respond as warmly as you would like.
6) Remember a Detail. Everyone wants to feel special, and we’re all looking for someone else to give us evidence that we are. If you’ve met someone before, remembering their name and a detail about them will be the greatest gift you can give them. This can be hard, but once you start getting control of social nerves it will become easier.
7) Compliment Others. I’m not suggesting you compliment someone for the sake of it, but if you genuinely like something then go ahead and tell them! Everyone loves a compliment, they start conversations and they give people confidence. I concede that women find it easier to compliment one another, but a genuine compliment from by either sex will never fail to create a generous atmosphere.
8) Think of Others. We hear this all the time, but it bears repeating. When in social situations stop thinking about yourself and think about the other people there. If someone wants to join your conversation then make it easy for them. Help the host with serving or clearing away. Introduce people to one another. In short, get out of your own head and make sure others are having a good time. They will be truly grateful and you’ll be distracted from your own nerves!
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